You really coming over, don't trick.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize