when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
