If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so let's talk penis.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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