I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
last night I used snow as a chaser
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
