when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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