ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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