well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
