Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
