She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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