i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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