Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
