Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
