it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
