And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
