I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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