She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
