He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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