i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
