so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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