I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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