He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
