No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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