No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
