Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
