Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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