I'm so fucking centered right now
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
