Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
