Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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