Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
