stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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