How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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