whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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