If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Are we still banned from the library?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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