halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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