Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
