No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
