what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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