Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize