I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
