Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize