and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
