And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
