i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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