Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He felt like a one man threesome
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
