my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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