you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
