Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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