why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
