oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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