his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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