there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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