omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
