If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
