I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize