Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize