My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize