I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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