honey bunches of taint.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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