I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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