So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
