I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize