You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
