mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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